Ask Her

Ask Her: Diane Kruger


DIANE KRUGER from Inglourious Basterds, Welcome to Marwen, Unknown, the National Treasure movies, and as Helen of Troy in the epic Troy. In 2017, she won the Best Actress award for her German-language debut in Faith Akin’s In the Fade. Next up, director Simon Kinberg’s science fiction spy crime film The 355—due out in 2022.


Having a long term relationship is amazing, but obviously comes with its challenges. What advice can you give in regards to sustaining a healthy & fun relationship for the future?  


In my experience I would say, take each day as it comes and don’t think about “the future” too much. You don’t know what the future holds, but you know what today could look like. Be present, stay open minded for what will be thrown at you today. Of course it’s lovely to talk or dream about what the future will look like for the two of you, and it’s only natural to think that way. I’ve certainly made the mistake of planning too much for the future and being blind sighted by what is going on TODAY. The time you have with your partner, whether it’s six months or 60 years, is what it was meant to be.

I’ve tried to get over broken hearts by thinking that it just wasn’t meant to be, even though that’s obviously easier said than done. I’ve made the mistake of being too comfortable, of losing myself, of not wanting to see what was so glaringly wrong in a relationship, of thinking: everything will pass and just get better if I just stick it out. Thinking about the time I had invested and what it would take to undo it all. Long term relationships do come with their challenges, I think you’re right about that, but looking back on some of mine—I wish I had just not put so much pressure on myself, on “our future’, of what I thought was “important”.

If you both want to be there, and I don’t just mean physically, but in your heart and mind, things will just fall into place. It’s a constant change and my advice would be to keep your eyes and especially your ears OPEN. Listen. Be open to change even though it might not be what you want, and then decide for yourself if you are willing to change with your partner without losing YOU.

A therapist once said to me, partners should choose and agree on the defining rules and foundation of their relationship—things that, if betrayed, would break their union. As long as those agreed upon things are intact, everything remains possible and your future together is assured. Made a lot of sense to me at the time, anyway. I truly believe that you’ll have a healthy relationship through the challenges that come with it—and the immense joy that they bring—if you just make sure that foundation is intact, and you keep on checking in with your partner if the same remains true for him or her.