Ask Her

Ask Her: Cristina Rodlo

HER

CRISTINA RODLO The Mexican actress is known for starring in Nicolas Winding Refn’s miniseries Too Old to Die Young, Brian Grazer’s 68 Whiskey, and—most recently—Netflix’s horror film No One Gets Out Alive as Ambar, an immigrant who finds more terror than refuge when she moves into a Cleveland boardinghouse.

Up next is the Netflix World Cup feature, The Beautiful Game. In the meantime, she took time out to answer our reader’s query about overcoming trust issues after infidelity. 

Q:
I cheated on my last girlfriend with my current girlfriend for about 6 months (bad, I know), so now my current girlfriend has a lot of trust issues with me—even though I have been a saint and completely loyal and am totally crazy about her. How do I get her to trust me?
A:

First of all, there are no victims here—except your ex—but she’s out of the picture, so, let’s focus on your current relationship.

You both knew what you were getting into from the moment you cheated the first time. (I’m guessing your current girlfriend knew you were in a relationship.)

It would’ve been so much easier to break up with your girlfriend, but you, for many reasons, were not capable of doing it. Even though that was wrong, it is what it is, there’s no way you can change that now. The damage is done. Everyone has their own process; hopefully you’ve learned from this; and your current girlfriend has to learn from this as well.

The only person who knew what you were afraid of, what you were afraid of letting go of, is only you! You can explain as many times as you want to your current girlfriend that with her everything is different (obviously it is, if not you wouldn’t have broken up with your ex), but it’s her own process as well. She must come to terms that she knew you were cheating, and she agreed to keep it going. She decided to embark into a new relationship with you, knowing what she knew about you. So, there’s no point in blaming anyone anymore. You guys are together.

The past is the past, and there’s nothing you can do to change it. You guys only have the present, and you’re together, so, ENJOY IT!!! Communication is the key. Show her how much you love her and how different everything is with her. Talk, share your feelings, be open!! We like that! We want to know what’s on your mind and in your heart, so just say it!!! Also, tell her that for the relationship to work she has to trust you; otherwise, it won’t work out.